Bridezilla Aleshia, a hill person, is described as toxic and intolerable within the opening minute of the show. She says she never feels the need to apologize for anything ever.
She’s marrying self-described “softie” Brandon. They started dating five months ago. They got engaged four months and two weeks ago.
Horrible life decisions in Wilder, Ky. are what makes the WeTV world go ’round, though.
Aleshia points out that he was acting like a baby because he went to the hospital for an asthma attack. She sees this as further proof that Brandon’s mother is trying to ruin the wedding. In which case, Brandon’s mother is trying to ruin a wedding that no sane person would say should occur.
They get into a fight.
This is how Brandon reacts to that fight:
YES, HE WENT AND CRIED IN THE BUSHES OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT COMPLEX AFTER A SPAT WITH HIS BRIDE-TO-BE. BRO. WHAT IN THE EVERLIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My 3-year-old son just looked up from building Thomas tracks on the living-room floor and asked me what was going on on the TV. He heard Brandon crying. I explained the situation and then asked him whether a grown man should ever sit in the bushes crying after a spat with a ladyfriend. He said, “No.”
Sloppy, shot-slugging, threatening-to-hit-mom-in-law-to-be W.T. Aleshia seems egged on by the attention foisted upon her and her “kiddie rollercoaster” relationship by Bridezillas. This manifests itself in demanding Brandon serenade her from the karaoke stage. He sings “Aleshia, you’re my queen, I love you…” as she tells everybody in the strip-mall bar to pay attention because she’s Aleshia and there’s a guy serenading her.
Goodness gracious, she is just about as annoying as it gets.
There’s a guy named Jesus or something that breaks a glass when they’re making centerpieces and hillpersonlady flips out, as she seems to do with shocking regularity.
Some sort of drama ensues via text message three days before the wedding, as she’s getting mic’d up. My guess was that Brandon prefers the company of men. Turns out some friend thinks he was out with “that bitch” last Friday. When she confronts Brandon — he’s sitting on the floor in the bedroom — he doesn’t seem to know what she’s talking about.
That doesn’t stop a fight from ensuing thanks to friend Aubre who gins Aleshia up with tales of someone overhearing someone talking about Brandon or something. So, Aleshia calls “that bitch” up on the phone, while on camera, and she says “I don’t want him in my life, Aleshia.” Which is a hell of an endorsement for a guy who cries in bushes.
Moneygrubbing Bridezilla Yovanna is back on. The narrator says this will be the most expensive wedding in Bridezillas history. What an honor for a Zilla not far enough removed from hoodumble roots.
A weave gets thrown into a toilet for some reason or another.
An “I am ready to get drunk” or “crunk” notation is made on camera when she’s rolling out in Miami Beach for a bachelorette party in which she mocks her sisters for never having been to Miami with her before — they’re from the ATL.
As a result of overbooking, Gail or whatever starts asking people to leave or move at the rehearsal dinner.
Basically, what we have here is a woman who trapped a rich guy and now mocks the lower-caste family from which she comes.
Pretty wedding yadda yadda yadda.
Here’s hoping groom Rick — who seems alright — got an iron-clad prenup and puts her out with the recycling the first trash day after they return from the honeymoon.
Fauxlove ain’t worth the hassle, bro.