You turn on Bridezillas, see the name Mai Lee and suspect the name is pronounced like Miley, thus instantly expecting a twerkfest will ensue. But no. It’s more like May Lee and she’s nothing but anger shoehorned into white lace and/or jorts. She’s marrying Tomas who she “hated” at first because he was an “obnoxious prick.”
She’s talking about wanting “two-sided on one side” party favors of some sort. What would that even look like?
While driving somewhere, talking about how happy she is to get married, a driver cuts them off. When said driver pulls into a driveway, Mai Lee points out that it’s good that they know where he lives so they can come back later.
They have car-toy cake toppers, though she says she’d like it if Tomas was less into cars. That, and a blonde bride despite the fact that Mai Lee is not, in fact, blonde. They use a brown Sharpie to remedy this oversight.
Kinda underwhelming, thus far, even as she’s prattling on about how members of the wedding party aren’t allowed to drink.
She’s not so much a Bridezilla as a pushy character on a show in its end stages (just four episodes left after this episode. Insert sad face here) who keeps saying she’s going to “go crazy” but just yells and points and cusses and tries to shoo the cameras away. I mean, she holds herself as violence prone, but whatever. Even that’s not all too compelling.
Bridezilla Roxy is a former Survivor contestant who is having a “yacht-side wedding.”
“Accepting the call of God to ministry,” is how her Survivor bio‘s “claim to fame” entry reads. Makes sense, then, this here appearance on Bridezillas.
She says she doesn’t like cheese when her subcompact hub-to-be Josh is preparing a grilled cheese. She also says she fears God. She proceeds to “throw shade” at bridesmaids not fully committed to their foisted-uponcalling.
“This is what makes being a Christian really hard,” she says shortly thereafter. “You just want to knock people out, and Jesus is on the side saying, ‘No.’”
This makes perfect sense, what with no violence ever being perpetrated in the name of the Lord.
Anyway, ladygroom Josh calls Roxy during her bridal shower and he’s stranded along some road somewhere and she breaks down in tears and has to go retrieve him, this after she implores him to call AAA or something. She was expecting a call about how great she is. But NO. This fucking guy was calling in a time of need. How annoying!
Their stylist name is Jathan. He’s involved in the wedding-singer auditions. Singer is loosely applied here, as tooth-challenged, upper-sixties “Amazing Amy” is a contortionist. Jathan says this is “out of the ballpark” entertainment. She can pick her nose with a toe, a toe she proceeds to suck a few seconds later. Alas, Amy, who took the subway to the audition, did not get the j-o-b. She takes this affront personally, carrying on and whatnot in the background.
Oh, this is Amazing Amy, akin to an opening-round early-season American Idol castoff:
Jathan is wearing a sleeveless denim jacket with what appear to be sequins on the front pocket.
The boat their wedding is on — not Jathan’s; Roxy and whateverhisnameis’ — seems like one of those ferries that take people to the Statue of Liberty. Or Lewes, Del. Or across the River Styx, when the wedding singer is dismissed and then permitted back into active duty; no idea why. Too boring of an exchange.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Then, after someone says the wedding’s off, they got married. Fin.